In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
