i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
