Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
