she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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