Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
