I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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