i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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