Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
