I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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