I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
