you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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