Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
