i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
