so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
