I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
