I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
