I'm really into asian looking animals
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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