I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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