ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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