I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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