fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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