I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
