i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
