his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
