Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
