You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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