i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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