At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
