if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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