Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
