Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
