i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
nutella sex= disaster
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As shirtless as possible
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
