there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This baby is an asshole
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
