I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
