Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You left your phone here
Wait...
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