I seem to have left my pride at pride
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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