I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
