nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
