are you so shy because you have an std?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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