Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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