Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
