I wish I could teleport
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How does it feel to date your dad?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
