I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
two words...techno handjob
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
