Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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