Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize