Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
