i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize