I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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