Will you blow on my dice?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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