So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize