i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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