Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize