apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize