she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
