you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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