Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
