So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
