My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
